Your Home Is Your Refuge.

O. J. Simpson Has Already Received The Ultimate Punishment: For The Rest Of His Life He Has To Associate With Golfers.

You Know An Odd Feeling? Sitting On The Toilet Eating A Chocolate Candy Bar.

This Is A Lttle Prayer Dedicated To The Separation Of Church And State. I Guess If They Are Going To Force Those Kids To Pray In Schools They Might As Well Have A Nice Prayer Like This: Our Father Who Art In Heaven, And To The Republic For Which It Stands, Thy Kingdom Come, One Nation Indivisible As In Heaven, Give Us This Day As We Forgive Those Who So Proudly We Hail. Crown Thy Good Into Temptation But Deliver Us From The Twilight's Last Gleaming. Amen And Awomen.

Electricity Is Really Just Organized Lightning.

Some People See The Glass Half Full. Others See It Half Empty. I See A Glass That's Twice As Big As It Needs To Be.