You Think You're So Cool Just Because

Despite My Best Efforts, I'm Not Quite Perfect. Let's Just Say I'm Like One Of Those Hopi Blankets Where They Leave A Tiny Flaw So As To Not Affront The Lord.

I've Determined The Ideal Job For Me Is One Where I Can Write Clever Essays About My Life And My Employer Will Give Me Enough Money Not Only To Live A Comfortable Existence, But Also To Buy Many, Many New Pairs Of Shoes.

Seriously, Our Nation Is Never Going To Be On The Same Page On Issues Like Gun Control, Welfare, The Economy, The Environment, Etc. I Doubt We'll Ever Come To Terms On Tastes Great Or Less Filling And Hybrids Versus Hummers, And There Will Always Be Yankees Fans And Red Sox Fans, And Never The 'twain Shall Meet. Fortunately, All It Takes For Us To Be Of One Mind Is Some Buttercream Frosting.

Ambien Might Have Mentally Just Tossed My Salad. With Croutons.

I Don't Mean To Get All Religious Here, But I'm Pretty Sure Key Lime Martinis (with A Graham Cracker & Sugar Rim) Are Proof That Jesus Loves Us.