You Might Be A Redneck If Your

If Your Mother Doesn't Remove The Marlboro From Her Lips Before Telling The State Trooper To Kiss Her Ass, You Might Be A Redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If You Go Christmas Shopping For Your Mom, Sister, And Girlfriend, And You Only Need To Buy One Gift.

You Might Be A Redneck If Getting A Package From Your Post Office Requires A Full Tank Of Gas In The Truck.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Pocketknife Has Ever Been Referred To As Exhibit A.

This Happened To Me Last Week. We're In The Process Of Remodeling Our House; We've Been Doing It For A While Now. And We Have The Painters In, Putting Sheets Up Around The Furniture, You Know? And We Have A Piano, Just A Regular, Up Against The Wall Piano. One Of The Painters Said To Me, "is That Y'all's Piano?" I Said, "nah, That's Our Coffee Table, It Just Has Buckteeth! Here's Your Sign!