List of Rob Schneider Quotes

I Want To Make Films That Make People Laugh Hard, And I Am Not Afraid To Walk Away From This Business Tomorrow.

Sharks Are Like Dogs. They Only Bite When You Touch Their Private Parts.

Studio People Are Idiots. Until They See Someone Else Doing It And Make A Success Of It, They Don't Open Their Minds. Most Of Them Are Idiots.

People Don't Ask Andre Agassi, 'you Know You're The No. 1 Tennis Player In The World... Have You Thought About Polo?'

I Try Not To Have Too Much Of An Ego. I'll Do Anything

Women Always Feel Like They're Being Stared At And Judged, And Rightfully So

First Of All, Weren't All The Best Beatings In The Trailer For 'the Passion Of The Christ'? I Hate When The Trailer Gives Away All The Best Stuff.

A Woman Can Laugh And Cry In Three Seconds And It's Not Weird. But If A Man Does It, It's Very Disturbing. The Way I'd Describe It Is Like This: I Have Been Allowed Inside The House Of Womanhood, But I Feel That They Wouldn't Let Me In Any Of The Interesting Rooms.

I Just Think That Beautiful People Don't Have It As Hard, You Know? They Just Don't Know What Rejection's Like. That's Why Super Models Aren't Good Actresses, Because They Don't Need Anything. If Someone Is Beautiful And She's Needy, She's Probably Had A Terrible Childhood.

I Like To Sneak In Under The Radar. I Don't Have Any Paparazzi Following Me Or Have To Deal With That Stuff. I'm Never In The Tabloids. I Prefer That.

I Try Not To Worry About What That's Going To Look Like. If You Worry About Looking Stupid, That's When You Look Really Stupid.

I Lost That Excitement I Had When I First Started Out. It Was All About The Need To Just Get A Job, And So I Found The Joy Again When I Was Writing Deuce Bigelow. I Was Laughing So Hard And Along With My Writing Partner At The Time, Simply Laughing Until We Cried