You Might Be A Redneck If The

Sophisticated People Invest Their Money In Stock Portfolios. Rednecks Invest Their Money In Commemorative Plates.

I Hope Someday We Can Stamp Out Illiteracy In America. Of Course You'll Have To Kill Alot Of My Relatives To Do It.

I Tried Real Hard To Play Golf, And I Was So Bad At It They Would Have To Check Me For Ticks At The End Of The Round Because I'd Spent About Half The Day In The Woods.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Sophisticated Show-biz Cousin Is A Rodeo Clown.

If The Veins In The Back Of Your Legs Look Like The Street Map Of Greater Pittsburgh, You Ain't Nobody's Babydoll.