You Learn Very Very Quickly That It

Children Are Very Overprotected Now, In Lots Of Ways. We're Very Nervous About Them. You Know, People Go, "don't Go Outside! Or Inside! Get Into The Cupboard With Some Spinach!" When I Was A Child They'd Kick You Out And You Weren't Expected To Come Back Until There Were Bats!

The Sensible Thing For Everyone To Do Would Be To Write All Their Op-eds And Think Pieces Now So They're Ready The Day After The Election When [donald] Trump Is No Longer In The Picture. God, I Can't Wait For That. I Hope He Just Goes Away.

I Get A Phone Call Once Every 18 Months From Some Mad Person Who Wants Me To Do Something For Less Than No Money And They Give Me About A Week's Notice. That's My Film Career, Most Of The Time.

I'm Just A Guy Who Happens To Work In Public From Time To Time. I've Built A Reputation As An Established Comic, Not As A Celebrity - A Celebrity Is Someone Who Is Famous But Doesn't Do Anything.

You Know What You Are? You're A Beard With An Idiot Hanging Off It.