It's Easy To Smile When You Have

I'm Really Not Big On Nationalism, To Be Honest With You. I Really Don't Think It Gets People Anywhere Except Near A Pile Of Dead Bodies. I'm Irish, Yeah, But I Don't Need To Get Up On A Soapbox About It.

You Know, People Sometimes Say To Me, 'do You Prefer To Do This Or That, Act Or Do Stand-up Or Write' But The Thing That I Enjoy Most Is The Difference Between All Of Them, Because You're Always Learning. I Don't Go Around Thinking Of Myself As A Great Anything. I'm Actually Lucky To Have The Chance To Fail At All Of Them.

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.

I Wouldn't Be In A Huge Hurry To Go Back To Kansas. It Was Just Bizarre. There's A Lot Of Very, Very Heavy Set People Who Believe In Whatever They Were Told, Because They Didn't Seem To Get Out Very Much Or Be Interested In Leaving Where They Were. They Just Didn't Seem That Curious, And I Find That A Little Hard To Deal With.

I Was Lucky In The Sense That I Was Never Blessed With An Overly Reflective Nature.