You Know What's Sad About This? Not

Scientists Are Complaining That The New Dinosaur Movie Shows Dinosaurs With Lemurs, Who Didn't Evolve For Another Million Years. They're Afraid The Movie Will Give Kids A Mistaken Impression. What About The Fact That The Dinosaurs Are Singing And Dancing?

Do You Have Any Idea How Cheap Stocks Are? Wall Street Is Now Being Called Wall Mart Street

Ambition Beats Genius 99% Of The Time

According To The L.a. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft Wants To Take "a Harder Stance" On The Death Penalty. What's A Harder Stance On The Death Penalty? We're Already Killing The Guy? How Do You Take A Harder Stance On The Death Penalty? What, Are You Going To Tickle Him First? Give Him Itching Powder? Put A Thumbtack On The Electric Chair?

Well, Harry Reid And Other Members Of Congress, They're Just Furious Over This Olympic Uniform Deal. He Says We Should Burn The Uniforms, And It's An Embarrassment And A Disgrace. Not As Embarrassing As Congress Constantly Borrowing Money From The Chinese, But Still Embarrassing.