The French Announced Today That They Would

Scientists Are Complaining That The New Dinosaur Movie Shows Dinosaurs With Lemurs, Who Didn't Evolve For Another Million Years. They're Afraid The Movie Will Give Kids A Mistaken Impression. What About The Fact That The Dinosaurs Are Singing And Dancing?

I Think High Self-esteem Is Overrated. A Little Low Self-esteem Is Actually Quite Good. Maybe You're Not The Best, So You Should Work A Little Harder.

In Afghanistan, U.s. Troops Are Now Holding An American Man Who Has Been Fighting Alongside The Taliban. His Mother Says He Was Born In Washington, D.c. And His Father's A Lawyer. Well, That Explains It. ... He Surrendered To Authorities And Said He Wants To Go Back To His Old Job - Airline Security Guard.

So, Wesley Clark Is Running For President. Pretty Amazing Guy. Four Star General, First In His Class At West Point, Supreme Commander Of Nato, Saw Combat In Vietnam, Won The Bronze Star, Silver Star, The Purple Heart For Being Wounded In Battle. See, I'm No Political Expert, But That Sounds Pretty Good Next To Choking On A Pretzel, Falling Off A Scooter And Dropping The Dog.

U.n. Officials Said Today They Desperately Need $7 Billion To Help People Cope With Disasters, But They're Having A Hard Time Getting People To Send Rescue Money. Here's What The Un Should Do: Invest In Bad Mortgages, Run A Bank Into The Ground, Give Yourself A Bonus, Get Some Spa Treatments And, In No Time, The Government Will Send You $750 Billion.