You Know I Could Rent You Out

If You Find It Hard To Laugh At Yourself, I Would Be Happy To Do It For You.

Each Morning When I Open My Eyes I Say To Myself: I, Not Events, Have The Power To Make Me Happy Or Unhappy Today.

I Have Had A Perfectly Wonderful Evening, But This Wasn't It.

I Never Go To Movies Where The Hero's Tits Are Bigger Than The Heroine's.

Gentlemen, Chicolini Here May Talk Like An Idiot, And Look Like An Idiot, But Don't Let That Fool You: He Really Is An Idiot. I Implore You, Send Him Back To His Father And Brothers, Who Are Waiting For Him With Open Arms In The Penitentiary. I Suggest That We Give Him Ten Years In Leavenworth, Or Eleven Years In Twelveworth.