You Can Only Be As Good As

Sex: The Thing That Takes Up The Least Amount Of Time And Causes The Most Amount Of Trouble.

When Archaeologists Discover The Missing Arms Of Venus De Milo, They Will Find She Was Wearing Boxing Gloves.

My Wife Was Too Beautiful For Words, But Not For Arguments.

I Am Thinking Of Taking A Fifth Wife. Why Not? Solomon Had A Thousand Wives And He Is A Synonym For Wisdom.

Mr. [john] Barrymore's Smile Was The Smile Of An Actor Who Hates Actors, And Who Knows That He Is Going To Kill Two Or Three Before The Play Is Over. I Am Not An Actor-killer, But I Like My Hamlets To Dislike Actors, If You Know What I Mean, And I Think You Don't.