Yesterday I Accidentally Hit A Little Kid

I'm Actually A Really Nice Guy, Once You Get To Blow Me.

Every Year I Volunteer At A Hospital On Thanksgiving, Deep-frying Turkeys In The Children's Burn Unit. I Do It Just To See The Looks On Their Little "faces."

There Is Nothing That's Off Limits. If People Think Something Is Off Limits, I Make It My Business To Go Make A Joke About It; That's My Job.

You Don't Know Anything About Pain Until You've Seen Your Own Baby Drowned In A Tub... And You Definitely Don't Know Anything About How To Wash A Baby.

People Say It's Easy To Make Fun Of Retarded People, But It's Not. You Really Have To Explain It To Them.