I Love Pittsburgh. Most Of My Family

I Actually Never Acted On "deadwood." I Have Meetings All The Time Where People Look At My Imdb Page And See That I Played The Part Of "accounting Clerk" On Deadwood. Actually, I Was The Accounting Clerk For Production Of "deadwood."

My Girlfriend Is Upset About Her New Haircut. I Don't Understand Why She's Crying. I'm The One Who Has To Get A New Girlfriend.

With Comics, You Always Talk About A Big Break, But There Are A Lot Of Big Breaks In Your Life And Not One Of Them Makes A Big Difference.

My Mom, For Most Of Her Life, Was A Holocaust Denier. And It Was Terrible For The Entire Family To Have To Deal With Until, Finally, A Couple Years Ago, We Had An Intervention. And We Had A Rabbi Come Into The Home, Had Him Walk Her Through The History Of The Jewish People, And Then He Made Her Watch "schindler's List." And After That, My Mom Did A Complete 180. Now She Can't Believe It Only Happened Once.

I'm Too Cynical To Be An Optimist.