Wouldn't It Be A Helluva Joke If

White Folks Are The Luckiest People: Finally A Black President And He's A Behaved One. Went To The Best Schools, Best Colleges, Never Raises His Voice. I Ran For President In 1968. I Tell (audiences) If I Won, I Would Have Dug Up The Rose Garden And Planted Watermelon!

I Buy About $1,500 Worth Of Papers Every Month. Not That I Trust Them. I'm Looking For The Crack In The Fabric.

You Know Why Madison Avenue Advertising Has Never Done Well In Harlem? We're The Only Ones Who Know What It Means To Be Brand X.

I Am One Of The Funniest People On The Planet.

I Won't Say I'm Out Of Condition Now - But I Even Puff Going Downstairs.