With Halloween Coming This Weekend, They Say

Kerry Is Saying That Bush Never Showed Up For His National Guard Duty ... And Now Bush Is On The Attack. He's Accusing John Kerry Of Ducking Time In The National Guard By Hiding Out In The Jungles Of Vietnam.

Enron Is Now Officially Out Of The Energy Business. They Are Now In A New Business: Confetti.

A Jury Found Former Enron Sleezeballs Ken Lay And Jeff Skilling Guilty Of Fraud And Conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's Not A Good Name To Have When You're Going To Prison. And Kenny Boy Ain't Too Good Either. ... I Guess In Prison They'll Have Done To Them What They Did To The Stockholders.

Senator John Kerry Released His Plan Today To Eliminate The Deficit. He Said All We Have To Do Is Find A Really Rich Country Like Switzerland And Marry It.

In Spite Of The Poor Economy, Almost 70 Percent Of Americans Occasionally Splurge On Luxury Items -- Like A Blanket On A Plane, Or A Peanut.