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A Lot Of Congressmen Yesterday Were Upset When Kenneth Lay Took The Fifth. Lay Said It Wasn't His Fault. He Had Planned On Testifying, But When Jeffrey Skilling Testified, He Took All The Really Good Lies.

The Kinsey Institute Says Gay Men Have Bigger Sex Organs. Hence The Origin Of Gay Pride.

John Kerry Announced That He And His Wife Are Leaving On A Week-long Vacation. He's Going To Take Her Back To The Place Where He First Proposed To Her - At Her Bank.

They Say John Kerry Is The First Democratic Presidential Candidate In History To Raise $50 Million In A Three-month Period. Actually, That's Nothing. He Once Raised $500 Million With Two Words: 'i Do.'

According To Time Magazine, Global Warming Is 33% Worse Than We Thought. You Know What That Means? Al Gore Is One-third More Annoying Than We Thought.