Wise Is What You Want To Be.

There Is No More Embarrassing Thing In My Life Than The Fact That I Have Actually Uttered The Phrase, 'i Would Like To Order The Ginsu Knife.'

Festivus For The Restivus!

You Know I Have Been Issued A Public Urination Pass By The City Because Of My Condition. Unfortunately, My Little Brother Ran Out Of The House With It This Morning. Him And His Friends Are Probably Peeing All Over The City.

A Movie Is Kind Of Like Being The Captain Of A Ship, Which Is Nice, But When I Perform By Myself It's Just Surfing On The Water And Nobody Really Knows What Happens.

I Like Any Cereal. I Like The Idea Of Just Eating And Drinking With One Hand Without Looking.