Why Would You Throw A Ball In

The Worst Thing You Can Be Is A Liar. . . . Okay, Fine, Yes, The Worst Thing You Can Be Is A Nazi, But Then Number Two Is Liar. Nazi One, Liar Two.

Eventually, Though, I Came To The Conclusion That I Was The Male Equivalent Of A Toyota Camry. You Know: No One Ever Says, "i Have To Have A Toyota Camry." But Most People Who Spend Some Time In A Camry Start To Like It. "it's Pretty Reliable," They Think. "it Doesn't Have A Lot Of Problems, And It's Not Bad To Look At. You Know What? I'd Probably Prefer A Nicer Car. But I Can Live With A Camry.

Before I Proposed To My Now-wife, I Was Understandably Nervous. My Father Suggested That I Take Stock Of All Of My Experiences And Relationships With Women, From My Earliest Memories To Present Day, And See If I Had Learned Anything That Might Inform My Decision.

No, You Can't Go Getting Mad At People Because They're Shitty. Life Will Get Mad At Them, Don't Worry.

Although Kurt Vonnegut May Not Be Considered A Humor Writer, 'breakfast Of Champions' Is One Of The Funniest Books I've Ever Read.