While President Bush Was Out Of Town

(gray) Davis Said Yesterday That He Is Going To Fight Like A Bengal Tiger, Which I Believe Is Also An Endangered Species.

Jesse Jackson's In Trouble. They're Going After This Tax Thing. Jesse Said He Will Amend His Taxes To Show The Money That He Paid To His Mistress. See, He Has Just One Mistress. Jesse Uses The Standard Mistress Deduction. As Opposed To Clinton, Who Had To Itemize.

President Obama Has Begun A Three-state Bus Tour. I Believe The Three States Are: Confusion, Delusion, And Desperation.

Saddam Hussein Has Raised The Amount Going To Suicide Bombers From $10 Thousand Dollars To $25 Thousand. What's Next, A Health Care Plan?

The Olympics Start On Friday, And Russia Is Implementing The Most Intensive Security In Olympics History. During The Games, The Government Will Monitor Every Email, Every Social Media Message, And Listen In On Every Phone Call. In Fact, People Are Even Comparing Russia To The United States, That's How Bad It Is.