While I Have The Utmost Respect For

I Can't Predict The Future And I Don't Have Respect For People Who Try To.

Money Is Not The Most Important Thing In The World. Love Is. Fortunately, I Love Money.

As A Class, Jews Give Three Times As Much Money To Charity As Anybody Else, But They Feel Guilty About Their Wealth Anyway. They Simply Can't Accept The Idea Of Ever Being Republicans.

Comparing What The Democrats Offer To What The Republicans Offer Is Like Comparing The Money I Have In My Pocket To What Bill Gates Has In His.

My Material Is As New As Anything On The Dinner Table. What Difference Does It Make If I'm 70 Or If I'm 20? The Audience Knows They Aren't Getting Any Old Stories From Me.