Whenever Something Good Happens To Me, It's

I'm A Jerk, That's Who I Am. I'm Like Everybody Else.

I Tell People That I've Now Done One Decent Thing In My Life. Albeit Inadvertently.

I've Always Loathed Rich People, So I've Become Who I've Loathed, Which Makes It Doubly Difficult, If You Can Follow Me.

People Don't Yell Nasty Things At Actors - They Let Them Continue.

Until I Started Doing Standup, There Were Some Very Bleak Days.