Whenever My Water Breaks It'll Be Like

Sorry I Don't Eat Buffalo.

I Have Amazing Boobs. They're Just Perfect.

We Were Going To Have An All-day Drinking Binge. Gonna Ride Our Bikes, Hang Out... Do Naughty Things. But I Started Feeling This Overwhelming Guilt.

This Week It's Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwiches, Toasted. And Then, I'll Put Some Salt On My Hand Like I'm Taking A Tequila Shot And Then Take A Bite Of The Sandwich.

It Was Like A Death In The Family: You Go Through The Mourning Stage, Then The Rebellion, And Then All Of A Sudden You Have To Find Life By Yourself. . . . I Loved Everything About Marriage. I Loved Having A Companion To Wake Up With And Have Barbecues With. But Things Happen And People Grow Apart. I Don't Really Ever Talk About The Divorce Because It Was A Heart-wrenching Thing To Go Through.