When You Involved In An Accident And

My Advice To You, If You Want To Lose A Bit Of Weight: Don't Eat Anything That Comes In A Bucket. Buckets Are The Kitchen Utensils Of The Farmyard.

Never Trust People Who've Only Got One Book.

If You Haven't Heard A Good Rumour By 11:00am, Start One.

A Mate Of Mine Has Just Told Me He's Shagging His Girlfriend And Her Twin, I Said How Can You Tell Them Apart, He Said "her Brothers Got A Moustache!"

I'd Always Been Scared Of People With Tertiary Education And High Intellects In Case They Found Me Wanting. I Thought They Viewed Me As Just A Welder Who Knew A Few Jokes.