When You Find Yourself In A Hole,

Many A Politician Wishes There Was A Law To Burn Old Records.

Never Slap A Man Who's Chewing Tobacco. Never Kick A Cow Chip On A Hot Day. Never Miss A Good Chance To Shut Up.

An Ignorant Person Is One Who Doesn't Know What You Have Just Found Out.

Some Say, What Is The Salvation Of The Movies? I Say, Run 'em Backwards. It Can't Hurt 'em And It's Worth A Trial.

I Like To Hear A Man Talk About Himself Because Then I Never Hear Anything, But Good.