When People Come To See My Stand-up,

I Have A Theory That If You're Famous More Years Than You're Not Famous, Then You Get A Little Nutty.

I Think Abc Sort Of Hoped I Would Be Really Like Carol Burnett. I Mean Literally, I Think.

If You Just Kind Of Live A Regular Life And Make Good 'hollywood' Money, You Have A Certain Freedom.

I've Never Really Worked On Them. Just Once In A While One Hits Me And Makes Me Laugh. My Al Gore Was Sort Of Like A Gay Gomer Pyle.

A Mom And Dad Found An S&m Magazine Under Their 10-year-old Son's Bed, And The Dad Said, 'well, We Sure Can't Spank Him.'