If I Only Ran When Nothing Hurt,

After Years Of Begging, I Got My Parents To Get Me A Little Craig Tape Recorder, A Reel To Reel. Then I Started Recording Voices, Or Recording Jonathan Winters Off Television And Stuff Like That.

While Many Comics Have A Secret Persona, I Fundamentally Want To Be Myself.

You Know, Elizabeth Taylor Must Be In Heaven Going, 'alright, Fire Two Honey!'

I Have This Dream Life Where I Get To Be A Celebrity But I Get To Kind Of Navigate The World Fairly Easily Because I'm Always In Character.

I'm Thirty Years Old, But I Read At The Thirty-four-year-old Level.