When People Come Over To My House

Let's Face It, The Gene Pool Needs A Little Chlorine.

I Don't Think It's Any Coincidence That I Lost My Religious Faith And 'manned Up' In The Same Year. I Was Described Somewhere As A Lapsed Catholic, Which Is Funny Because I'm Not Going Back! I Want To Achieve Things Rather Than Live Life In An Animalistic Way.

Remember To Never Answer A Phone During Sex, Even If You Hilariously Answer With 'i Can't Talk Now, I'm Going Into A Tunnel'.

I Didn't Plan To Be The Rude Middle-class Comedian. You Write A Certain Type Of Joke That You Find Funny, And Mine Happen To Be Often Rude. Yes, It's Juvenile, But That's Me.

I Said To My Girlfriend, You Shouldn't Eat Before You Swim. She Said, "why Not"? I Said, You Look Fat.