When I Was Onstage Doing The Work,

I Have Some Very Personal Feelings About Politics, But I Don't Get Into It Because I Do Comedy Already.

Pity? You Don't Want To Be Pitied Because You're A Cripple In A Wheelchair? Stay In Your House!

Every Man's Dream Is To Be Able To Sink Into The Arms Of A Woman Without Also Falling Into Her Hands.

Comedy Is A Man In Trouble. And Without It, There's No Humor.

It'll Keep You Alive For Another 10 Years If You Get Yourself A Laugh Once A Day: Either Provoke It, Or Look Around In The Wildest Laboratory In The World, The Public.