When I Turned About 12 Or 13,

My Favourite Riposte To A Heckle Is To Say, 'excuse Me, I'm Trying To Work Here. How Would You Like It If I Stood Yelling Down The Alley While You're Giving Blow Jobs To Transsexuals?'

I Don't Consider Myself A Fashion Victim. I Consider Fashion A Victim Of Me.

At One Point In The Mid-eighties I Shared A Promoter With The Smiths. One Night, We Were Sitting Backstage When Morrissey Burst In, Utterly Distraught, Sobbing His Heart Out. Turns Out Someone Had Thrown A Sausage At Him On Stage During 'meat Is Murder.'

It Was A Bizarre Existence I Led In My Early Twenties - That Cliche Of The Comedian Who Goes Out And Entertains A Roomful Of People And Then Goes Home To A Lonely Bedsit Was Unbelievably Poignant For Me Because That Was Exactly What I Was Doing. I Had Periods Of Real Loneliness.

I Don't Always Vote In General Elections, But I Think I've Always Voted Labour.