If You Became A Comedian In The

Well, Sanity, I Suppose, Is Getting People To See The World Your Way.

When I Turned About 12 Or 13, I Realised That Being Funny Wasn't About Remembering Jokes. It Was About Creating Them.

I'm Always Amazed To Hear Of Air Crash Victims So Badly Mutilated That They Have To Be Identified By Their Dental Records. What I Can't Understand Is, If They Don't Know Who You Are, How Do They Know Who Your Dentist Is?

At One Point In The Mid-eighties I Shared A Promoter With The Smiths. One Night, We Were Sitting Backstage When Morrissey Burst In, Utterly Distraught, Sobbing His Heart Out. Turns Out Someone Had Thrown A Sausage At Him On Stage During 'meat Is Murder.'

My School Days Were The Happiest Days Of My Life; Which Should Give You Some Indication Of The Misery I've Endured Over The Past Twenty-five Years.