When I Did Comic Relief, I Did

I Have A Position Of Indirect Respect And Oblique Power.

Isn't It Amazing That The Germans Call Their City Halls 'rat Houses'? That's What We Should Call Our City Halls!

I Looked At Game Show Hosting As The Bottom Of The Totem Pole, One Step Away From Infomercials. I Never Watched Them Myself. However, It's Been A Lot Of Fun.

Boy, A Drive-through Liquor Store. God Bless America! A Place Where You Can Drive Through And Buy Whiskey, Beer... Just The Thing For That Drunk Driver Who's Constantly On The Go. Cant Stop Now! I've Got Places To Go, People To Hit!

I Don't Know What People Are Going To Think Of My Stand-up. If You Only Know Me From 'the Price Is Right' And 'the Drew Carey Show,' Then You Might Be A Little Bit Shocked. I'm A Little Dirty And A Little Opinionated But All In Fun.