When Humor Go's, There Go's Civilization.

One Certainty When You Travel Is The Moment You Arrive In A Foreign Country, The American Dollar Will Fall Like A Stone.

My Mother Won't Admit It, But I've Always Been A Disappointment To Her. Deep Down Inside, She'll Never Forgive Herself For Giving Birth To A Daughter Who Refuses To Launder Aluminium Foil And Use It Over Again.

I Became Hysterical And Frightened And Begged For Sedation. And That Was Just The First Prenatal Visit.

Most Women Put Off Entertaining Until The Kids Are Grown.

Housework, If You Do It Right, Will Kill You.