When Humor Goes, There Goes Civilization.

Cleanliness Is Not Next To Godliness. It Isn't Even In The Same Neighborhood.

I Have Paid As Much As $300 A Night To Throw Up Into A Sink Shaped Like A Seashell.

I Lost Everything In The Post-natal Depression.

If God Had Meant Us To Walk Around Naked, He Would Never Have Invented The Wicker Chair.

When Your Mother Asks, 'do You Want A Piece Of Advice?' It Is A Mere Formality. It Doesn't Matter If You Answer Yes Or No. You're Going To Get It Anyway.