What's The Difference Between My Wife And

My Uncle Jimmy Took Liver Salts Twice A Day For 40 Years. He Died On Sunday, Was Buried Wednesday And The Following Friday They Had To Go To The Cemetery To Beat His Liver To Death With A Stick.

I Gave My Wife A Kiss This Morning. She Jumped Out Of Bed And Did A Lap Of Honour.

A Man Up In Front Of A Judge Says "i Don't Recognise This Court." "why Not?" "it's Been Redecorated Since The Last Time I Was Here."

My Irish Mate Told Me, If You File Down The Edges Of A 50 Pence Piece, You Can Use It As A 10p.

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."