Well, The Way Things Are Going, Aside

I Have 40-something Intros [that Davis Jr. Did]; All Are Different, None Of Them Happened. And It Was Hilarious.

In High School, I Was The Class Comedian As Opposed To The Class Clown. The Difference Is The Class Clown Is The Guy Who Drops His Pants At The Football Game, The Class Comedian Is The Guy Who Talked Him Into It.

I Love Doing It [hosting The Oscars] Because I Love The Danger Of It And You Have To Come Through And Think On Your Feet. That's Why That Show, No Matter Who Hosts It, It Really Should Be A Fast-thinking Comedian Who Is Really Quick On Their Feet That Can Handle Situations That Happen, Or Somebody With That Kind Of Mentality That Can Capitalize On Something.

When I've Gotten Criticism, It's That It's Too Long, Too Soft, Didn't Hit The Government Hard Enough. Then When I Do Hit The Government, They Go, What's He Doing Hitting The Government?

At 60, I Could Do The Same Things I Could Do At 30, If I Could Only Remember What Those Things Are.