I Don't Like Heights. This Is Why

You Have To Really Respect What Your Kids Are Doing With Their Kids And How They're Raising Them. You Can't Push Your Way Into Areas Where You Shouldn't Be Saying Anything. You Have To Always Remember They're Not Your Own Kids. Play With Them, Love Them, Spoil Them To Death - Then Hand Them Back.

Despite What The Wall Street Journal Says, Our Awards Are The Best-kept Secret In America, With The Possible Exception Of What George W. Bush Did In The '70s.

At Some Point I Stopped Stand-up Because I Didn't Have Something To Say On A Nightly Basis.

Did You Ever Reach A Point In Your Life, Where You Say To Yourself, 'this Is The Best I'm Ever Going To Look, The Best I'm Ever Going To Feel, The Best I'm Ever Going To Do,' And It Ain't That Great?

Good News, They Found Nemo! The Bad News Is, They Found Him In One Of Wolfgang Puck's Puff Pastries.