Weight Is A Glanduar Thing, As Well

I Was With A Famous Comedian When A Young Fan Walked Up And Asked For An Autograph. The Comedian Blew Him Off. I'll Never Forget The Look On The Young Boy's Face. He Was Devastated.

When I Say, 'i Can't Stay Long, I'm In-between Meals,' That Plays Differently On The Radio Than It Does In Person. So I Have To Pick Material That Works Because The Words Are Funny, Not Just Because Of The Images.

It Might Be One Thing To Think About Putting On A Dress, But When You're Actually Putting On A Dress, It's A Weird Thing, Because You're Going, "huh. I'm Putting On A Dress. Do I Leave My Underwear On? Do I Get Some Other Underwear? Is There Something Special I Should Wear?" All That Dumb Stuff. I'd Never Had Any Interest In Putting On My Mom's Clothes, Except To Think, "well, They Are Nice Clothes..."

I Live In California, The Worst Place In The World For Fat People. There Are Three Of Us. They Have Us On Eight-hour Shifts, So It Works Out.

Minnesotans Really Think They Run The Whole World, I Love That.