Vegas Means Comedy, Tragedy, Happiness And Sadness

I'm A Comic, So I Like To Stay Nocturnal. I Work 10 P.m. To 1 A.m.

Don't Do Drugs To Be Cool, Do 'em Because You Hate Yourself.

I've Never Been Swimming, And That's Because It's Never Been More Than Half An Hour Since I Last Ate.

It Is Funny Because The Guy Who Is My Boss Now, Howard Stern, Has A Similarity There. He Got Big Being A Regular Guy. He Wasn't The Greatest Looking Guy In The World

Have You Ever Googled Yourself? I Did, Most Depressing Thing Ever. People Have Websites Hoping I Die At 38.