Twitter Is So Short, It's Safe. I

I Guess Nothing Puts A Damper On A One-night Stand As Much As Your Friend Pointing Out All The Opportunities Where You Might Have Been Killed.

Anybody Can Have A Birthday. It Requires Nothing. Murderers Have Birthdays. It's The Opposite Of Anything That I Believe In. And I Don't Like At Work Where You Stop Everything To Sing 'happy Birthday' To Someone. I Feel Like That's For Children.

My Whole Childhood Was Like: Work Hard, Be Quiet, Respect Elderly People, Respect Your Parents, And Just Be Unobtrusive.

There Has Ceased To Be A Difference Between My Awake Clothes And My Asleep Clothes

I Regard Romantic Comedies As A Subgenre Of Sci-fi, In Which The World Operates According To Different Rules Than My Regular Human World.