Twitter Allowed Me To Talk About Parenting

Some Fast Food Places, They Have That Ketchup Pump. It's Like A Keg. They Give You The Paper Shot Glass. I Always Like To Hang Around There, Try And Meet The Ladies. "here, I'll Pump For You. You Come To This Wendy's Often? My Roommate And I, We Got A Pony Pump Back At My Dorm. Here's An Extra Shot "

Every Morning I Hear The Alarm, It's Like "beep Beep Beep" For Second I'm Like, "i Could Get Used To That, Just Dream I'm In A Techno Club, Or Something."

I Definitely Write About Things That Are Universal, That Everyone Can Identify With. You're Supposed To Write About Things You're Passionate About And I Guess I Am A Foodie. I Do Love Food And It's Kind Of Like I'm An Eccentric Observationalist Guy. To Make It Kind Of Universal, I Try A Lot Of Different Things. When I First Started Writing This, I Was Like, 'no Food.' Then, You Know, It Just Always Goes There.

Thanksgiving, You Know - Thanksgiving - It's Like We Didn't Even Try To Come Up With A Tradition. The Tradition Is We Overeat.

Faith Is Something That's - It's Hard To Articulate. It's - There's - It's Not Based On Logic.