Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving.

It 's The Time Of Year When Canadians Mate.

They Were Singing, Gillette, The Best A Man Can Get, With A Lot Of Guys Hugging Their Fathers And Sailing And Riding Bikes. I Suddenly Felt A Long Way From The Best A Man Could Get And I Thought It Would Be Nice To Get From There To The Best.

Happy Cinco De Mayo. If You Don't Know What That Means, Maybe You're A Little Out Of Touch - Or Maybe You're The Governor Of Arizona.

Is It Really That Important? It's Just Television, For God's Sake. It's Not Medicine Or Something.

You Know Who They're Blaming For Global Warming Now? This Is True. Fat People.