Happy Cinco De Mayo. If You Don't

I Don't Think Wood Was Discovered In Britain Until The 1970's. That's When I Discovered It Anyway.

They Say Give A Man A Fish And He'll Eat For A Day. But Teach A Man To Fish And He'll Get His Own Show On The Discovery Channel.

A Number Of U.s. Colleges Are Going To Start Having Dorms For Alcoholics. I Believe Those Are Called Dorms.

Alcohol Ruined Me Financially And Morally, Broke My Heart And The Hearts Of Too Many Others. Even Though It Did This To Me And It Almost Killed Me And I Haven't Touched A Drop Of It In Seventeen Years, Sometimes I Wonder If I Could Get Away With Drinking Some Now. I Totally Subscribe To The Notion That Alcoholism Is A Mental Illness Because Thinking Like That Is Clearly Insane.

You Should Never Protest Outside A Rich Guy's Home During The Day Because He's Not There. He's At Work Grinding The Faces Of The Poor.