Trust Everybody, But Cut The Cards Yourself.

In Every Big City There Is Always One Surefire Laugh, And That Lies In Hanging Some Piece Of Idiocy Upon The People Of A Nearby City Or Town.

Reality Is An Illusion That Occurs Due To The Lack Of Alcohol.

Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle.

I Could Be Stranded In Any Town In The United States With Ten Cents And Within An Hour Make $20 With The Shell Game.

Smile First Thing In The Morning. Get It Over With.