Tomatoes And Squash Never Fail To Reach

In My More Pompous Moments I Like To Think Of Myself As A Writer Rather Than A Humorist, But I Suppose That's Merely The Vanity Of Advancing Age.

As For Consulting A Dentist Regularly, My Punctuality Practically Amounted To A Fetish. Every Twelve Years I Would Drop Whatever I Was Doing And Allow Wild Caucasian Ponies To Drag Me To A Reputable Orthodontist.

There Are Nineteen Words In Yiddish That Convey Gradations Of Disparagement, From A Mild, Fluttery Helplessness To A State Of Downright, Irreconcilable Brutishness. All Of Them Can Be Usefully Employed To Pinpoint The Kind Of Individuals I Write About.

Only The Scenario Writers Are Exempt. These Are Tied Between The Tails Of Two Spirited Caucasian Ponies, Which Are Then Driven Off In Opposite Directions. This Custom Is Called A Conference.

Tomatoes And Squash Never Fail To Reach Maturity. You Can Spray Them With Acid, Beat Them With Sticks And Burn Them; They Love It.