Love Is Not The Dying Moan Of

One Stifling Summer Afternoon Last August, In The Attic Of A Tiny Stone House In Pennsylvania, I Made A Most Interesting Discovery: The Shortest, Cheapest Method Of Inducing A Nervous Breakdown Ever Perfected. In This Technique..., The Subject Is Placed In A Sharply Sloping Attic Heated To 340 F And Given A Mothproof Closet Known As The Jiffy-cloz To Assemble.

I Have No Truck With Lettuce, Cabbage, And Similar Chlorophyll. Any Dietitian Will Tell You That A Running Foot Of Apple Strudel Contains Four Times The Vitamins Of A Bushel Of Beans.

If, At The Close Of Business Each Evening, I Myself Can Understand What I've Written, I Feel The Day Hasn't Been Totally Wasted.

There Is Something About A Home Aquarium Which Sets My Teeth On Edge The Moment I See It. Why Anyone Would Want To Live With A Small Container Of Stagnant Water Populated By A Half-dead Guppy Is Beyond Me.

A Farm Is An Irregular Patch Of Nettles Bounded By Short-term Notes, Containing A Fool And His Wife Who Didn't Know Enough To Stay In The City.