To Listen To Your Own Silence Is

Comedy Is A Blood Sport. It Flays The Truth And Spurts Twisted Logic. In America, People Become Comics Because We Don't Have Bullfighting.

I Deliver Very Traditionally, And People Aren't Threatened. I Think If I Cursed Or Seemed Wilder, I Couldn't Get Away With The Amount Of Very Opinionated Politics I Get Away With.

I’ve Thought For The Last Decade Or So, The Only Actual Place Raw Truth Was Seeping Through In Newspapers Was On The Comics Pages. They Were Able To Pull Off Intelligent Social Comment, Pure Truths Not Found Elsewhere In The News Pages, And Had The Ability To Make It All Funny, Entertaining, And Pertinent.

People Are Giving Birth Underwater Now. They Say It's Less Traumatic For The Baby Because It's Under Water. But It's Certainly More Traumatic For The Other People In The Pool.

I Pray If I Ever Find Out I Have Only About Three Minutes To Live It's During A Basketball Game, Because Then I'll Have, What, 10, 12 Years To Live?