Time And Tide And Hookers Wait For

I Can't Figure Women Out. They Put On Makeup For Three Hours. They Wear Things That Make Them Smaller. Things That Make Them Bigger. Then They Meet A Man And They Want Truth.

One Time My Whole Family Played Hide And Seek. They Found My Mother In Pittsburgh!

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. When He Took Me Hunting He Gave Me A Three Minute Head Start. Then On The Way Home He Tied Me To The Fender And Put The Deer In The Car.

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.

Every Time I Get In An Elevator, The Operator Says The Same Thing To Me: 'basement?'