This Week, Georgia's Board Of Education Approved

Thank You... Fat Dude With Giant Headphones On The Subway, For Looking Like What Would've Happened If Jabba The Hutt Mated With Princess Leia.

Rand Paul Is Officially Running For President. He Even Revealed His Campaign Slogan, Which Is 'defeat The Washington Machine. Unleash The American Dream.' It's Hard To Tell If He's Running For President Or Doing An Infomercial For Bowflex.

I'm On So Late I'm Definitely The Last Seconds Of Anyone's Attention. So I Just Want To Give Them Something Dumb To Laugh At, So They Go, 'that's Funny,' Then Fall Asleep.

A New Study Found That Students Who Are Taught Abstinence End Up With Better Math Scores. Of Course, If You Join The Math Team, The Abstinence Takes Care Of Itself.

North Korea Has Declared Its Own Time Zone That They Are Calling 'pyongyang Time,' And Set Their Clocks Back Half An Hour. So If It's Say, 11:40 Here Now In New York, In North Korea It's Still 1925.