I Just Liked Stand-up Comedy So Much.

After All, Game Shows Are Not Like Working In A Coal Mine.

If I Wasn't A Comic Or Tv Star, I Really Wanted To Be A Photojournalist.

It Sucks Being Fat, You Know.

Just Because A Guy Has A Shaved Head, Pierced Nipples, And Doesn't Have Sex With Women Doesn't Make Him Gay. It Just Makes Him Down On His Luck.

You Say Tomato, I Say Bourbon And Coke.