Nothing's Funny About Someone Who's Successful.

I Looked At Game Show Hosting As The Bottom Of The Totem Pole, One Step Away From Infomercials. I Never Watched Them Myself. However, It's Been A Lot Of Fun.

I Used To Go To The Library All The Time When I Was Kid. As A Teenager, I Got A Book On How To Write Jokes At The Library, And That, In Turn, Launched My Comedy Career.

If You're Wearing A Bluetooth Thing And You've Got That Thing On Your Belt, You Are Working For Somebody Else. You Are Not The Guy In Charge. That's A Really Good Social Status Indicator.

And For You Kids Watching At Home, Remember, The Less Homework You Do And The Closer You Sit To The Tv, The More Points You Get.

I Love The Normalcy Of Cleveland. There's Regular People There.